the bulleted post

• smiling busy SAHM trying to keep up with it all and wondering where the last 2 weeks went
  
• smiling for my quick trip to Montreal to meet up with some special girlfriends and replenish my soul
• smiling for my new found love of chocolate martinis ;)
• smiling with my new MGW t-shirt and new scarf
• smiling at the fun nature walk I had with SCM this week
  
• smiling for the Senators hockey game we attended last week where we saw the son of very good friends stand with the hockey players on the ice during the national anthem
  
• smiling for baby boy who is progressing so rapidly in his hockey skills, he's a joy to watch
• smiling for baby girl who participated in her first Ontario Development Program for gymnasts and did great and had loads of fun
• smiling at the fact that the twins and I have joined a ski club
  
• smiling (widely) for the twins who turned 6 and had a fun and noisy b day party with all their friends and a quiet intimate celebration at home
• smiling at the fact that I've now organized 18 birthday parties and am working on the 19th
  
• smiling for big sis who spent Career Day working at the Montessori school she went to so many years ago and absolutely loved it and the kids have all been asking for her to come back
• smiling for big sis who started working on the school's radio station
• frowning at the amount of projects big sis has
• smiling that I'm able to help with all these projects and that she accepts my help willingly
• frowning that it's parent-teacher meetings for big sis again, hate those
• frowning at the thought that I have a cardiologist appointment coming up and will be on a monitor for 24 hours
  
• smiling for the great news that my friend just received: the lump in her breast is benign
• frowning for the wait we are enduring to find out about the lump in MIL's breast
• frowning for the results we just found out: baby girl is allergic to peanuts as well, as allergic as her brother
• frowning at the amount of money I'm spending on epi-pens
• smiling ate the positive results for my shoulder, nothing serious, will just need tons of physio, sigh
• frowning at having to deal with ALL these health issues
• smiling at the thought of the big ass 40th bday party we are going to this coming week-end
  

• frowning at the fact that hubby and the twins are in Florida for the week
• smiling knowing that they are having a good time and that the weather is good
• smiling at having spent so much one on one time with big sis and doing girlie things together
  
• smiling at the amount of organizing I've done around the house while they were gone
• smiling looking at close to 40 picture albums I filled over the past 3 days
• smiling knowing my babies are coming back home in 2 sleeps

Good thing there's a whole lot more to smile about than frown about/

a multitude of firsts

When kids are little, there are so many firsts to record: first time smiling, first time laughing, first time eating peaches, first time crawling, etc, etc. Those early firsts come in fast and furious. And then they tend to slow down but every once in a while, there's a few more.

That has been the case around here.

The minute hubby started his holidays, he declared: "that's it, the twins are going to learn to ride their bikes with two wheels only!" So off came the training wheels and on came the full face mask and elbow pads and knee pads and wrist protectors. And after quite a few sessions and a major case of sore backs, they finally got it!! It seemed so symbolic to me, letting go of that seat, seeing them pedal on their own. And the pride! Ah, the pride on their faces, priceless. We still have to work on getting them to take off on their own but they now know how to stop properly. The full face mask replaced by a bike helmet, but I think I'll keep the other paraphernalia on for a little while longer. If anything, for mom's peace of mind ;)

As for big sis, she just came back from her first week away at a canoe-camping camp. A big step for her, and a big step for her dad! I was willing to let her go a few years back but hubby refused. This year he finally agreed.

And what an awesome experience for her. A week with no TV, no computer, no watches, no indoor plumbing, no nagging mom;) They canoed for 3 hours a day, moving from island to island and setting up camp and hiking and rock climbing. She did bring her camera and couldn't wait to show us all the amazing photos she took. She had to eat whatever was given to her, even if she didn't like it cause that's all they had. They sang songs, they enjoyed the nature surrounding them, they developed friendships. Every day since she comes up with anecdotes of thing that happened at camp. It was a major boost for her self-esteem and she came back a much better person. More patient with her siblings, more helpful around the house, hope it keeps up!

The camp monitors gave her a glowing report, her bottom line being: "mature, reflective, thoughtful of others and with a lively spirit" Of course, she can't wait to go back next year and even set her goals on becoming a camp counselor when she's old enough!

Here's a few of her shots in no particular order:

graduations

Last week at soccer, I'm sitting on the sidelines with some moms who were discussing all the plans for their kids high school graduation: limos, dresses, corsages, hotels, meals, etc.

And I burst forward full of pride exclaiming "I'm going to a graduation too!"

"oh yeah! Which High school?"

"Actually, it's their preschool"

"oh" they said and turned their heads away...

...whatever...

...nothing could dampen my pride seeing baby boy and baby girl get up on stage with their little black grad hats and receiving their diplomas, way cute and emotional for me...another stage achieved.



It seems like yesterday when they arrived, barely toilet-trained, at that preschool (the same one big sis had gone through 7 years prior) and what a wonderful adventure they've had there. Under the most amazing nurturing watch of some great teachers, they have blossomed and grown physically but also emotionally and especially academically. They made new friends, they learned and saw new things, they came back home week after week with beautiful crafts made with love.

I will miss our daily drives there and back and all the stories and songs we've shared along the way. I will miss many of the parents I've met there, we became quite the little family. Some I will see again, I'm sure, but most of the other ones, even with all the best of intentions, will only be chance encounters. I will miss the teachers who over the years have become more like friends. But mostly I'll miss this magical stage in my little one's lives.

Next year, they will get on the big yellow school bus and go on to a new school (not the one big sis went to)and onto new adventures. They are ready and excited about this new prospect.

I'm so very proud of you my loves :)

a yay day

Love that term dani!!
I for one, definitely had one.

Went with the twins to their last field trip of the year to the Experimental farm. The kids had been studying farm animals for weeks and even witnessed chicks hatching in their own classroom. So they were psyched. And so was I :)

From boarding the big yellow school bus and singing all the way there, following our guide around from here to there and marveling at the beauty of baby animals, having moments of intense mother's pride when MY little ones would ask smart well-thought out questions or blowing us away with their answers AND having warm little hands holding mine all the time. It was wonderful. All of it. Moments to cherish.





In the evening, went to big sis first soccer game of the season (a mixed team of 12-13 year olds). Hubby is coaching so the twins and I sit on the sidelines. Couldn't get over how much the girls have grown over the past year! Big sis looked like a giant out there compared to the younger girls. Was a great game, great plays, great weather. A blissful suburban evening at the park followed by ice cream treats :)

Looking forward to many more days like this. They're the ones that make the gloomy ones vanish into thin air.

dancing queen

For years, big sis wanted to partake in our church's school for traditional Greek
dancing. Unfortunately, it always took place on Monday nights when both hubby and I worked. Then the little ones came along, no question about dragging them there. Up until this year. She finally got to start this past September and both baby boy and baby girl get to go too now that they are 5 years old.

And sure enough, big sis loves it.

Last Saturday was her first performance. In front of over 250 people. The other girls in the group have been dancing for years but her teacher assured me she's a fast learner. So of course, I went to see her. To take pics and video for this momentous first.

And she did great! I was so impressed with her! You could tell she truly enjoyed herself. They performed 5 different dances. As a thank-you for the dancers, they got to eat all together at a table set aside for just them and they then got to join the party on hand. I've never seen her dance like this. Must bebecause she was with her friends and they all felt great for a job well done. She didn't want to go home. I eventually dragged her out of there at midnigth though.

Way to go sweetie!

we've come a long way

Yesterday:

Last gymnastics class for the session and as usual the parents are allowed in to see what our kidlets are able to do. Time to confess. I usually drop them off, check them for mere seconds to appease my mommy's conscience that they are fine and I bolt out of there to run errands. I really haven't seen much what they've been up to lately :( So it was an incredible surprise to actually see how much they've progressed. How tall they look compared to younger ones. How much stronger they've gotten physically. And how much better they are at listening and following instructions. Way to go guys. They'll be starting their third year next January. A really great activity for them and good for both girls and boys!

Today:

School Christmas party at a local community hall. They've been getting ready for this for weeks and the whole event has been shrouded in a veil of secrecy. NO clue what they were up to. This is their third and final year in this most incredible school. The first year, they didn't even make it on stage. Too shy. Last year, involved in the singing only. This year, leading roles in a play about a Christams circus! It was the cutest thing ever and all parents were blown away at the amount of lines they memorized and how well they acted. Baby boy was the "tamer" of wild reindeers, converting them into docile ones worthy to work with Santa. Baby girl was a "fire juggler" and danced and twirled batons to an enchanting Christmas melody. Am so glad I made a point of changing hubby's schedule months ago so that he could attend this. The pride on his face was priceless. And how big they looked next to all the wee ones! The show was followed by a pinata, a potluck lunch and a visit from santa. We came home all tingly with the Christams spirit and spent the rest of the day making crafts, wrapping gifts and baking. Just pure magic.

twelve years ago today

We became parents. It feels like yesterday, It feels like a lifetime ago.

After 6 years of marriage and just as many years of trying, my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 15 weeks. We were devastated. Those were dark days in our marriage. We consulted specialists in the reproductive field, we had a multitude of tests done. The bottom line of all these knowleadgeable individulas: there is nothing we can do for you. We started thinking of a child-free life, a coping mechanism for sure.

Then a friend, also trying to conceive, asked me to go with her to this chinese herbalist/acupuncturist who specializes in infertility cases. We had a few common friends who had gone already and ended up with babies. She really believed this would work. Me, not really. With my trained scientific mind, I shrugged it all off as insanity but agreed to go with her to make her happy. He gave us a tea to drink and some pills for hubby. Lo and behold, we both got pregnant a few weeks apart.

I was ever so careful with this pregnancy, not rushing to tell everyone as we did the first time. Taking care of myself. Enjoying this purest miracle, with a little voice in the back of my mind thinking this could be the last time I'd ever live through this. Was a great pregnancy with just normal symptoms of heartburn and last trimester bloating. 40 weeks came and went. November 18th, the due date came and went. We were scheduled for an induction on the morning of the 28th of November.

The morning of the 27th, I woke up with mild cramping. They became more regular. We had breakfast in the dining room with the sun filtering through the windows. It was a beautiful sunny Sunday. At 10 am, I felt a pressure and rushed to the shower just in time for my waters breaking and gushing out. Hubby busied himself getting my bags ready and putting a plastic bag over my seat in the vehicle and we drove off smiling proudly at the thought of soon meeting our first born.

Our neighbour, my medical doctor, was outside putting some Christmas decorations. We stopped by to say hi and when she asked how we were, we said "we're great! we're on our way to meet our baby" She laughed and wished us well and was going to join us in a few hours as she was going to be our baby's doctor too.

Get to the hospital, settle in a room, start walking around, pausing for some panting. But then the pain intensified to the point of tears. I was having back labour and no position made me comfortable. Hubby started panicking and started getting things moving for me to get an epidural. Which I finally did. What a relief. Things progressed slowly and steadily and we started pushing. And we pushed. And pushed. And nothing happened. Finally my OB came in and declared that I was going to need a ceasarian. The baby was coming in face first (there's a medical term for this which I forget)and was stuck in the canal.

It became an emergency issue, I was rushed to the OR. Lights and machines were being flicked on as we came in. Hubby was gone to put some scrubs on. My epidural was wearing off. I was petrified with fear. I was alone on that hard cold operating table. People were rushing around me getting things ready, hooking up machines and waiting for the anaesthesiologist to come back from home.

Eventually he arrived, drugged me up and not very long after, our baby girl emerged at 8:30 pm and weighing in at 7 pounds. She had a huge crop of black hair halfway down her back (no wonder I had so much heartburn they said) and she was perfect. Hubby was crying with joy. I was trembling from a mixture of emotions and drugs. Outside, the first snowflakes of the season were falling and by the time hubby left the hospital to go back home, a full blown snowstorm was underway.

And our love affair with this child began.

So many firsts together. SO much joy. And now, I look at her, a young woman and wonder where my little girl has gone. We love her so much and just want the best for her. We want to shield her from the cruelties of this world and want to prepare her for it too. She's a great kid and we congratulate ourselves and count our blessings.

Happy Birthday my firstborn, my beautiful daughter and the best big sis ever.

a mother's pride and joy

This afternoon was the first parent-teacher interview for big sis at her new school. I met with six separate teachers. When I presented myself as big sis's mom, the reaction was always the same: "ah, big sis, what a great kid", said with a warm smile. Followed by a commonality of adjectives: always happy and willing to participate and help, gets along well with everyone, has integrated exceptionally well in her new setting, inquisitive, organized and meticulous(what? don't really see that here), attentive, etc. and ending with "it is a true pleasure to have her as a student".

Needless to say, I left the school with a swelled up heart. True mother's pride. I metaphorically patted myself on the shoulder for a job well done but also counted my blessings on having such a lovely human being as my child.

While driving back home, when I do most of my deep thinking, I was pondering on what just transpired that afternoon and also on the fact that 5 years ago today I was in labour for my twins. Just thinking about how miraculous they are and the joy they bring to us daily got me all misty eyed. Even now, I get all chocked up on how blessed I am. My babies will be 5 years old tomorrow. A week-end of celebration is planned. Another bittersweet mommy moment.