a sad day in the neighbourhood

Two weeks have elapsed again since my last post. Pretty pathetic. Life seems to be getting in the way (and internet connectivity problems not helping either, arghhh).

I'd have so many fun and happy things to talk about. But an event here yesterday has overshadowed all of that. There was a fire at a neighbor's house. A huge fire. No one got hurt, thank God. It fills me with sadness. Its a house we went to over the years, where we had many happy moments filled with laughter. We never really got to know the new owners who have been here for the past 3 years or so. Needless to say, this event has led to a lot of talks in the neighborhood and in our household, many inquisitive questions from our kids.

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. And praying that this never happens to any of you.

the bulleted post

• smiling busy SAHM trying to keep up with it all and wondering where the last 2 weeks went
  
• smiling for my quick trip to Montreal to meet up with some special girlfriends and replenish my soul
• smiling for my new found love of chocolate martinis ;)
• smiling with my new MGW t-shirt and new scarf
• smiling at the fun nature walk I had with SCM this week
  
• smiling for the Senators hockey game we attended last week where we saw the son of very good friends stand with the hockey players on the ice during the national anthem
  
• smiling for baby boy who is progressing so rapidly in his hockey skills, he's a joy to watch
• smiling for baby girl who participated in her first Ontario Development Program for gymnasts and did great and had loads of fun
• smiling at the fact that the twins and I have joined a ski club
  
• smiling (widely) for the twins who turned 6 and had a fun and noisy b day party with all their friends and a quiet intimate celebration at home
• smiling at the fact that I've now organized 18 birthday parties and am working on the 19th
  
• smiling for big sis who spent Career Day working at the Montessori school she went to so many years ago and absolutely loved it and the kids have all been asking for her to come back
• smiling for big sis who started working on the school's radio station
• frowning at the amount of projects big sis has
• smiling that I'm able to help with all these projects and that she accepts my help willingly
• frowning that it's parent-teacher meetings for big sis again, hate those
• frowning at the thought that I have a cardiologist appointment coming up and will be on a monitor for 24 hours
  
• smiling for the great news that my friend just received: the lump in her breast is benign
• frowning for the wait we are enduring to find out about the lump in MIL's breast
• frowning for the results we just found out: baby girl is allergic to peanuts as well, as allergic as her brother
• frowning at the amount of money I'm spending on epi-pens
• smiling ate the positive results for my shoulder, nothing serious, will just need tons of physio, sigh
• frowning at having to deal with ALL these health issues
• smiling at the thought of the big ass 40th bday party we are going to this coming week-end
  

• frowning at the fact that hubby and the twins are in Florida for the week
• smiling knowing that they are having a good time and that the weather is good
• smiling at having spent so much one on one time with big sis and doing girlie things together
  
• smiling at the amount of organizing I've done around the house while they were gone
• smiling looking at close to 40 picture albums I filled over the past 3 days
• smiling knowing my babies are coming back home in 2 sleeps

Good thing there's a whole lot more to smile about than frown about/

its a crazy world out there

You'll hear a news story on the radio and vaguely pay attention to it. Its normal. You live content in knowing that your world is not permeated closely by that situation.

Till it hits home.

There has been several incidents since September of prank 911 calls to local high schools with hoax threats of bombs and arms. It has created a multitude of lockdown situations. Yesterday, it happened at big sis' school. She stayed hidden behind a couch (she was in drama class) for THREE hours. Just imagine the range of emotions going through everyone's heads. Students and teachers alike. They had had drills and discussions about codes to be used in certain situations. Yesterday, they soon realized that it wasn't a drill. It was the real thing. The cops came. Went through the whole school. Checked classrooms one by one and students one by one. Ultimately, it turned out to be a hoax. Yet again, another distorted mind with nothing else better to do with their lives than seek a cheap thrill at the expense of others. Ruin a multitude of people's days. Instill unnecessary fright. Will they get caught? And if they do, what will happen to them? Protected under the young offender's act we'll never really hear much more of it. Does it make others feel like doing it too since there's no retribution after the fact?

As for big sis, she was freaked at first, naturally. She kept thinking of her siblings whom she hoped would never have to go through this (they just had received a notice that they will go through a lockdown procedures discussion next week). She was thinking of her friends in other classrooms. She was thinking of me at home and her dad at work who would worry about her. She was thinking of all the little wee ones in the daycare attached to her high school. But poor thing, she really really had to go pee and couldn't go to the washroom. So apart from her mental anguish, she was physically suffering. Plus they had all worked so hard to organize this Halloween party/dance that never ended up happening because of some lost distorted soul. A real bummer for them all.

As a mother, you always worry about your kids. Now just sending them to school, your worries are elevated to a whole new level. We hugged a lot last night and discussed this all over with her. Of course, as a mom I just want to keep them home where I know they are safe. BUT we must not let them live in fear of going places and doing things either. That is too paralyzing.

Let's pray that all our kids come home safely today and everyday.

Happy Halloween!

Looks like it'll be yet another warm day for our trick or treaters. A global warming perk? Big sis spent hours fine tuning her "corpse bride" outfit and make-up as they are having a dance today at school (such an important event in a pre-teens life) and going trick-or-treating with her friends. Baby girl and baby boy where disappointed that they couldn't wear their Halloween outfits at school this year. Such is their policy. But they are looking forward to tonight. The pumpkin is carved and awaiting to be lit. The bags are ready for our special guests. The spiderman and pink bunny rabbit outfits are ready to go.

Be safe!

classmates

Thanks for your comments guys, you certainly know how to make a girl feel good !

And LOL at the important stuff, like what I wore: long black skirt with slit down the side, sequined black high heel pumps, shimmery blue/purple blouse with rhinestone buttons and matching earrings, small satiny evening clutch, hair done the previous day at the hairdresser, meticulously applied make-up and, ahem, my little secret weapon "a tuck everything in the right place" undergarment ;)All in all an understated elegant look and an inner confidence and happiness radiating through. Oh, and a handsome well-attired and well-groomed hubby on my arm! A winning combination.

This is where we went: amazing food and the best cosmos I've ever had! Had to consume the alcohol early on as we were driving back home right after.

Out of 38 students in our class, 13 where females. The largest percentage ever in the school's history at that time. Many male professors where unhappy about this situation. So we had to prove ourselves even more, work harder than our male counterparts and got scrutinized even more. We didn't have a single female role model in our teachers. We were trailblazers. And we all did really well.

After the reunion, I realized that 7 out of 13 female classmates were still single and another two had gone through nasty divorces. That leaves only 4 of us in long term relationships. These girls went after their careers, but at what cost. Its becoming more and more difficult for them to enter meaningful relationships. It takes a mature, confident man to go out with a successful woman and not feel threatened by that. Much easier for our unmarried male counterparts. Three of them just got married in this past year and started families.

Just made me realize how lucky I am to be in a happy place in my life, because ultimately my friends, that's what its all about.

my other life

I'm a SAHM. And I've grown to love it. BUT if you told me 25 years ago that that's what I'd be doing, I'd have looked at you as if you had two heads.

From my early teenage years, I was focused on a career in the health field specifically. I was going to help people, make them better, discover something important. I had a vision and was intellectually motivated. I studied hard, worked hard and did eventually reach my goal. All is good, right? Not. Something was missing. Something that I'd never honestly given much thought about. But this feeling in the pit of my stomach kept nagging me and grew and grew. I wanted kids. All of a sudden I wanted to be a mom. Which I eventually became but it was a hard road. And to my biggest surprise, being a mom became more important than working hard at my career. All of a sudden my life's aspirations changed. Who would have known.

This past week-end I went to a conference relating to my previous career. Ran into a lot of colleagues, former employees. And the nagging question was always: "Don't you miss your career? When are you going back to work?" As if I'm not working now :~)

Then I attended a very special supper: my 20 year class reunion! Even though I didn't feel like going at first, I'm glad I did. In the matter of a few hours, we reminisced about so many little events. Funny how some people remember certain things so vividly, things that I totally forgot about.



24 years ago, 40 total strangers got thrown together. For 4 years we endured the most stressful situations, we saw each other at our worst and at our best. Good times and bad times. We laughed, we cried, we learned about each other and about ourselves. Needless to say, we got really close, didn't have a choice. Some lifelong friendships were created. Even though we don't all see each other often, our bond is still there. There was a lot of hugging going on. And trying to catch up with what happened with our lives: marriages, divorces, children, illnesses, people spread out all over the country. I was glad to see so many of them and how there lives turned out. But how does one summarize 20 years in a few minutes over drinks? It makes one invariably rethink our stand in our lives. Of course, the question often came up: "so where are you practicing now?" So many where surprised that I, one of the most driven in the class, was actually "retired" and a full time mom. Those with children understood and respected and admired my decision. Others were left quite perplexed. Even though everyone told me that I hadn't changed at all, the person they knew back then feels like someone different than the person I am now.

from one extreme to the next

My last post was all about a fun-loving week-end of quality family time, tranquility, relaxation and appreciation of nature in all of its fall beauty. (By the way, no one seemed to notice that my first picture was taken from the air. Hubby and I went for a half hour flight on a Cessna from Rockliffe airport up towards Camp Fortune and back. Beautiful.) This post describes our past week-end which was fun-loving as well BUT adult-only in a bustling noisy metropolis, tiring with the amount of activities we packed in and the little sleep we got. (Blogger FINALLY let me post some pics!)

We went from one extreme to the other from one week-end to the next. Funny thing is, I REALLY loved both!!! Let's see what's in store for this upcoming week-end ;)

week-ends

This past Thanksgiving week-end was simply spectacular. We had some excellent family time, re-connecting with each other while engaging in some out of the ordinary activities. No schedules, no activities. Lots of free time to sit back and relax and enjoy the magnificence of a Canadian fall. All in all great for the soul. I'll let the pictures elaborate. And stay tuned for details of this upcoming week-end. Another special one ;)

still hurts

Yesterday was my yearly physical and big sis' too. We went together; but she goes in on her own now, sigh, big girl that she is. But the doc then tells me everything that went on ;)

Long story short, I needed an Xray and figured we'd go right away to the lab as it was just down the street and a quiet time of the day we were told. I walked in to that particular lab and right away a major chill went right through me. Last time I was there was precisely 15 years ago. When I checked in, they had my address of 15 years ago which really confirmed it.

That day, in that lab, was not a happy day at all. I had just suffered a miscarriage at 4 months with my first pregnancy. A trip to the hospital confirmed it but they wanted an ultrasound to see if "everything" was expulsed and rule out the need for a D&C. (not sure if they even follow that protocol these days). So off to this lab we went. I hadn't cried at all up until the point where the technician put her probe up you know where. The sobs started coming out uncontrollably. She had the worst bedside manners and was giving me heck for moving so much while she was trying to "see". A black day in my life for sure.

As I was sitting there in the reception room, all those emotions came right back up. I actually had tears in my eyes. Why is it that after all those years it still hurts? I was sitting there looking at my beautiful soon to be 13 year old daughter and thinking how she could have had an older brother or sister. I was also definitely counting my blessings on having healthy and beautiful children.

Oh the heartaches of motherhood.

Terry Fox day

Today is the Terry Fox National School Run Day. All 3 of my kids are involved and I will be joining them later on today for a walk. Such a worthy cause raising funds for cancer research. Years ago, in a previous life it seems, I was part of such a research team, studying the fundamentals of cancer onset at the DNA level. It was such an intellectually stimulating and challenging period of my life, working side by side with some great minds and fun-loving people.

Thankfully up until now, cancer hasn't permeated our extended family. I pray it will remain that way.

As for Terry Fox, what a hero, in the true sense of the term. The Marathon of Hope, 1980. I so vividly remember following his day to day progress while preparing to enter my first year of university starting an undergraduate program in microbiology and immunology eventually leading me towards the aforementioned cancer research. Terry's spirit may have very well, in some small way, led me there.

But what is truly amazing, is how his dream is still living and strongly at that.